1. In her song Cloudbusting Kate Bush sings:

    "I know that something good is going to happen
    I don’t when
    But just saying it could even make it happen”

    This belief used to be at the heart of everything for me. A friend and I talked about this last night on the phone. They said they could tell all these things were going to happen for me, to me. They said there were all these signs. They could see them, and they were for me. I used to see the signs too, and follow them. I still see the signs, and I still follow them, but they don’t lead anywhere or amount to anything. Anywhere new or different or destinal. They’re just there, unmagical in their magic. Or magic in their unmagicness. I’ve always said that Love Dog was an incantation. A love spell I cast for myself and others. Fortunata. Vision quest.


  2. In a capitalist society, money is how we get our shit together. You can be a failure as a human being, but if you have money, if you make money, you haven’t failed. Capital conceals real failure in the same way that fame (consensus) hides mediocrity. A costume for spiritual poverty. Hence the whole project of celebrity, which forfeits the responsibility of living ethically. You answer to no one when you have the money to pay for unaccountability/irresponsibility. That’s really what wealth buys you. Fame exteriorizes to such an excessive degree that you are freed from looking inside (at yourself). The political mechanics become irrelevant. It’s making it versus how something is made.

    Dana Ward in The Crisis of Infinite Worlds:

    "When David said ‘Money is a negative Eucharist’ I can tell you that he wasn’t really guessing. When people say ‘You need to get serious about your life now’ they’re not fucking with you. In the end though all they mean by that is money."

    Money is permission to fuck with but not be fucked with. Giving it but not taking it. It does away with the chain of causation and reciprocity.


  3. Posting this again. Again. Again.

    "What you desire creates quality. You are not made by yourself, but by the thing you desire."

    -Fanny Howe, The Wedding Dress


  4. "…I catch everything I read: I read an article on syphilis and am immediately convinced that I have it, I recognize the symptoms when I haven’t slept with anyone. I cling to the last gaze (in desire), the last encounter."

    -Hervé Guibert, The Mausoleum of Lovers


  5. In an interview I read with Lynne Tillman last night, she ends by saying, “I wish to hell that I’d said no more to men in my 20s.” And that really struck me because I wonder all the time why so many of my female peers, friends, and colleagues say yes to men so much. Why they find it so easy to be with one man after another. Why they find it pleasurable. Acceptable. Repeatable. Seems like the first step is always to be less interested/enchanted/susceptible (by most men). To be less frequently interested. To not be interested. To be interested in a different way. In new ways. Even though we can’t always control what and why we desire what/who we desire, I feel like desire should have something to do with reality. Should go against some aspect of the reality of most male behavior, of routine sex, of stale desire. Of an exhausted gender tautology. Even if you have to suppress your desire for something or someone shitty, for something or someone better, that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes life and people do need to be taught lessons. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to learn. Sometimes doing shit on principle alone, goes a long way. Without an audience, the game dries up. The game is the player. Duh.


  6. "When my first book, Haunted Houses, came out, I didn’t know what to expect. I thought I expected nothing, and it turned out I expected everything. So I was vastly disappointed.”

    -Lynne Tillman, Interview Magazine


  7. Inter-be

    You need other beings in order to be

    It is impossible to be yourself alone

    To be means to inter-be

    Never doubt I love


  8. agameofme:

    I started reading Masha Tupitsyn's book Love Dog today. The book is a deeply personal reckoning with her feelings for one person, and also a book about film, music, gender, feminism, politics and all the forces that influence the ways that we connect, think about connecting, or fail to…

  9. All shook up


    "Doesn’t feel like a passing phase"
    —Phantasms (1994), Adrian Martin


  10. -Once Upon a Time in America, 1984