In an interview I read with Lynne Tillman last night, she ends by saying, “I wish to hell that I’d said no more to men in my 20s.” And that really struck me because I wonder all the time why so many of my female peers, friends, and colleagues say yes to men so much. Why they find it so easy to be with one man after another. Why they find it pleasurable. Acceptable. Repeatable. Seems like the first step is always to be less interested/enchanted/susceptible (by most men). To be less frequently interested. To not be interested. To be interested in a different way. In new ways. Even though we can’t always control what and why we desire what/who we desire, I feel like desire should have something to do with reality. Should go against some aspect of the reality of most male behavior, of routine sex, of stale desire. Of an exhausted gender tautology. Even if you have to suppress your desire for something or someone shitty, for something or someone better, that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes life and people do need to be taught lessons. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to learn. Sometimes doing shit on principle alone, goes a long way. Without an audience, the game dries up. The game is the player. Duh.